so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm at about main and main street
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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