there's paper in my vomit.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
