Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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