I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
