Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
