the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
