Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
