Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
