Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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