covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
