I'm really into asian looking animals
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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