She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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