he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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