He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
