I like to think it a success when the cops are called
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
