My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Randomize
