it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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