she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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