Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
you didnt know i had herpes?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Well I just put wine in my tea
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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