Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
