After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
