I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
