well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
