Soap is not a condiment
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
so much tequila, so little girl.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
