After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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