her vagine was all disorganized.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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