Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
