it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
