I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
