i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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