I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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