He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
