theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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