i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Randomize
