it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He called his prostate his "boner button".
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
