he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
