I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
