Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
My dick has a subreddit
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
