Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
