getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
