I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
