You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
