kristin has been a bad kristin
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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