did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
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