My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
