.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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