I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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