So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
