i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
