He disabled his match.com account in front of me
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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